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Mom? Maybe. Dad? Probably not. Jeff? Hardly. I think he was clueless about most things. Stephanie? Nah, she was awfully young. My priest? Doubtful, but you never knew. I was like a robot moving the paten back and forth and wasn’t paying close attention. Fortunately, I didn’t hit anyone with it nor did a host drop that I was supposed to catch.Mass ended and Larry and I took off our robes and went downstairs. He grabbed a doughnut and I got my usual OJ. I saw Melanie and Mr. Spencer across the room. Birgit was Lutheran, and only nominally so, and didn’t come to church. I wished she had, but I’d never seen her here and so I’d never have expected it.Melanie saw me and walked over.She stepped close to me and said very quietly “I’m really happy for you and Birgit. I’m glad it worked out. She’s so lucky to have you.” And then she quickly walked away.Larry was the only other one who heard. He grabbed my arm, and whispered, “You did! I knew it!”Sigh. Busted. But I could count on Larry not to. "My mouth had cooled off enough for me to continue eating, but I waved at the waitress for another bottle of beer. I thanked Abi for the hint and took her advice. This time, I could handle the pain, though I still had to drown the fire with more beer. Abi pointed out the items that were not so spicy, and those I was able to eat. I finally got enough to satisfy me, but Abi kept eating, first from her platter, then from mine."Abi, I fear that you will be sick if you keep consuming food at such a rate. We are in no hurry. Please slow down and enjoy your food." Sorry, Mike, I did not mean to gobble like that. I tell ya what, I'll tell ya my story while I'm lettin' this here food settle."Four nights ago, my Pa said that it was time I started paying my own way. He was tired of paying fer everything an' wanted me ta earn some money. He said that I was pretty enough, so I could easily earn a lot of money as a saloon whore."I told him that I didn't want ta do that. I had heard about it an' I.
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